


Thriftless Sighs

by Snugglejunkie



Series: Disguise Thou Art A Wickedness [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Humor, Romance, Tropes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 15:42:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5054470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snugglejunkie/pseuds/Snugglejunkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a busy day for Emma Swan, though battling flying monkeys is nothing compared to trying to get a grip on her feelings for Regina. Add into the mix her son who doesn't remember who he is and a curse that nobody can figure out who cast...SwanQueen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thriftless Sighs

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the Disguise Thou Art A Wickedness series. A little filler story in which we see how Emma and Regina react around each other after their first kiss and made their way to the second... Light fluff set between story DTAAW and AIAM.

**Thriftless Sighs**

“Well I suppose rescuing dwarves from trees is a step up from cats, right?” Hands on hips, Emma stood gaping up at the whimpering form of a not so very happy, Happy. He was about half way up a tree, arms wrapped in a death grip around the trunk - despite being at most only 20 foot from the ground.

She rolled her eyes.

From her left a surly scowl was directed at her.

“Do you think this is funny sister? Don’t you know that dwarves are terrified of heights?!” said Grumpy.

“Hmm…so I guess we’re not gonna to be able to convince him to climb down on his own by chucking a couple of rocks at him?”

“What?”

“Nevermind.” She sighed. “Well, this runt of a tree is not going to hold the weight of another person climbing up to get him, so we’re gonna have to think of something else.”

“Can’t you use your magic to get him down?” David said, rubbing his chin as he too looked up - appraising the situation.

Emma shook her head. “Even if I did know how to do that, I haven’t used magic in over a year. There’s more chance that I’d end up turning him _into_ a tree, than getting him down safely from one. Maybe we should call Regi--”

“No way!” Grumpy cut her off. “We don’t need any help from the Evil Queen, thank you very much!” he said, in a decidedly sarcastic tone.

Emma’s eyes darkened and she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Really? So you and your brothers would have preferred to remain flying around the forest as hairy winged beasts? Because you know, _Regina_ was the one who made the potion that we used to change you all back!”

“Well, isn’t that convenient, being that she was the one who cast the curse that turned us into flying monkeys in the first place,” he sneered.

“She didn’t cast the curse!” Emma snapped.

“Yeah, right!”

“It wasn’t Regina, Grumpy.” David said firmly in an attempt at mediation, hoping the dwarf would take the hint that it was not the best of ideas to insult the brunette in front of his feisty daughter - But apparently, dwarves are not only afraid of heights but are also not particularly perceptive.

“Of course it was…you’re not buying that reformation crap are you? Once an Evil Queen, always an Evil Que—youch!” he yelped, as a tiny little pellet dart lodged in his shoulder.

Emma lowered the dart gun with a satisfied smirk on her face.

“Oh did that hurt? I’m sorry, I was just making sure that the potion was in your system, you know, since you kinda seemed like you were reverting back into a hairy ape.”

He took a step towards her, but a whine overhead drew his attention back to the problem at hand. Scowling at both the Savior and the amused look on her father’s face, the angry dwarf tugged the dart free from his shoulder with a contained flinch and threw it to the forest floor.

“Don’t worry brother,” he called up to Happy, “we’ll have you down in no time.”

As the words left his lips, a trickle of bright pink liquid trailed a path down the tree trunk.

“What the…” Emma’s brows furrowed in confused surprise.

Charming looked slightly uncomfortable.

Grumpy wrinkled his nose slightly.

“I told you! dwarves are scared of heights!” the surly dwarf said by way of explanation.

“Okaaay…and that explains whatever just happened, how exactly?” the blonde questioned.

David cleared his throat and then whispered aside to Emma. “Uh…dwarf urine is _pink_.”

“What?! Gross!” she pulled a face. “Wait, you mean to tell me that those pink puddles that keep appearing around the back of the Rabbit Hole and down in the mines are… _eww_.”

“Whatever.” Grumpy grumbled.

A chorus of unearthly screeching sounds in the sky above their heads alerted them to another incoming wave of flying monkeys. Emma and David drew their weapons – adapted tranquilizer guns. The darts were laced with a magic potion counteracting the spell that had turned the townsfolk into flying beasts. They had spent the morning hunting down their transfigured friends and allies and reversing the dark magic that had changed them.

It seemed that the more they had turned back into human form, the more that had appeared on the horizon to attack them, until finally there were less and less. The Merry Men – as David had introduced the bunch of forest dwelling Storybrooke new comers – had been rounding up the disorientated townsfolk and escorting them back into town. They had assumed that Grumpy and Happy had been the last of the monkeys - until now.

There were three of the monsters this time. David took aim and easily hit the first as it swooped down through the forest. Emma caught the second with equal ease. As the third swept in, Emma held up a hand to David, signalling that he should hold off shooting. The beast circled around once, before preying on the easiest target, a whimpering dwarf stuck in a tree. As it wrapped it’s hairy arms around his waist, trying to pry him from the tree, Emma shot a perfectly aimed dart into it’s neck. She smiled at the familiar whoosh of purple magic that transformed the winged animal into a reasonably stoic, armour clad warrior - suspended gracefully in the sky - still clutching the terrified dwarf.

Emma smiled in recognition.

“Hey Mulan…If you could give Happy there a ride to the ground, we’d appreciate it.”

“Emma?” Mulan said, as she and the dwarf dropped down, a little faster than the almost gentle descent of the previous monkeys.

“You know, I gotta hand it to Regina, she certainly thought of everything,” David said. “Having people floating to the ground after changing back, sure beats our idea of running around with a firefighter’s blanket trying to catch people as they fell from the sky like human hailstone.”

Emma beamed proudly. “That’s because she’s _awesome_.”

David nodded, his sparkling eyes thoughtful as he considered the sweet smile on his daughter’s face.

“Who knew the Savior has been trying to get into the Evil Queen’s…vault, all this time.” Grumpy interjected crudely, clearly still pissed about earlier.

A flush crept over Emma’s face.

“I’m not…puh…whuh…” she sputtered.

The two floating people finally landed with a soft thud on the forest floor, drawing everyone’s attention. Grumpy immediately pulled Happy into a somewhat manly but affectionate hug.

“Emma, what exactly is going on and where am I? And also…what is this odd pink fluid everywhere?” Mulan questioned.

“That, my friend, is a long story…you’re in Storybrooke – Maine, and trust me, you really do not want to know the answer to your last question,” she said, counting out the questions on her fingers.

Once they had gathered the other two former monkeys, and filled them in on what little information they had, Emma turned to David.

“Are you okay if I head off?” she asked. “I can take Mulan with me back into town then I'd like to go check on Henry and Regina.”

“So the Evil Queen is trusted with babysitting duty now?”

Emma growled.

“Seriously Leroy,” she clenched her fists at her sides angrily before taking control of herself. “I’m gonna give you a pass, seeing as you are probably still suffering the aftereffects of a dark curse. But, just in case your memory is blurred - Henry is _Regina’s_ _son_!”

She turned to leave, eager to get away from his tormenting.

“What’s the matter with her? she’s like a one woman Evil Queen cheer squad…” he murmured to no one in particular.

The blonde whirled around.

_That's it!_

“What’s the matter with me, is what I’m going to do to you if you call her the Evil Queen one more time.” Emma barked, striding fowards. David reached out to place a calming hand on her shoulder before she got to the bearded dwarf. He cast a levelling gaze at Grumpy.

Mulan glared at the dwarf, by way of support for her friend. 

“Emma, you guys head off, I can handle things here...but you know, I’m pretty sure Henry is with Hook today,” David said with furrowed eyebrows.

“Oh yeah, right…I knew that.” Emma said.

_Hmm…So Snow can keep a secret after all…who knew._

 

* * *

Regina sat on an all too familiar bench, charmed by her now teenage son as he generously passed his soccer ball between himself and a handful of smaller children. The parents of which were sat together on a bench a little way up from hers, they chatted and smiled at the mini soccer game, had even motioned for Regina to join them on a couple of occasions - she’d politely declined, feeling slightly uncomfortable in her Hook disguise.

Henry’s skills with the ball were impressive and she made a mental note to ask if he had joined the school team back in New York. She was pleased that Emma had agreed to let her spend time with Henry, even in this unconventional method. He was much more relaxed and less formal around her as Hook and she relished his playful smile and warmth - sadly he was aloof and polite around Mayor Mills.

She sighed. How she missed _her_ Henry.

“Penny for your thoughts?” a familiar voice said gently.

She looked up as Emma sat down with several take out bags from Granny’s.

“I was just missing Henry.” The brunette replied honestly.

Emma smiled sympathetically.

“I miss him too, you know. Now that I remember real Henry. I mean mostly he’s the same, but like he doesn’t believe in magic or even know the basic fairytales.”

“I couldn’t risk that he would remember somehow, find out that Storybrooke and everyone he knew and cared about was lost to him forever...” Her voice was thick with emotion.

“Regina I…”

“Hey Mom is that lunch, I’m starving!” Henry interrupted, jogging up to the bench.

“Sure is kid,” the blonde said cheerily, smiling an apology at Regina.

“Awesome,” he said, sitting between the two of them and rustling through the bags. He pulled out a cheeseburger and unwrapped it.

Emma reached for the bags at the same time as Regina, a tiny spark of warm magical energy passed between them as their hands touched, causing them both to pull back. Their eyes met timidly, as matching blushes crept across their faces. Henry remained oblivious as he chewed his burger happily.

Emma inclined her head signalling that Regina should go first.

“How’s the case going?” Henry asked.

“We made great progress today, but I still have a lot of work to do here. Sorry kid.”

“It’s cool. Killian is taking me fishing tomorrow with Mr Nolan, if that’s okay.”

 _Mr…oh…Dad._ Did Regina even know how to fish?

“He is?” Emma raised an eyebrow at the fake pirate.

Regina nodded affirmation, taking a bite of cheeseburger. Wait a second - _cheeseburger?!_ … _Hey!!!_ The brunette smirked at the outraged expression on the Savior’s face.

“I assumed the chicken salad was yours Swan, after all a man needs his red meat and cheese,” she winked roguishly.

Emma pouted.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat salad Mom, you’re not dieting are you?”

“Diet? Woah nobody said anything about a diet. Emma Swan does not diet,” she said affronted. “I just fancied something healthy…” she added as a cover.

Regina was full on chuckling.

“I suppose with the amount of junk food you pack away on a daily basis that you need a salad now and again Swan,” she teased.

“I’ll have you know that I am in perfect shape.” In order to prove it, the former sheriff stood up suddenly and hooking a thumb under her shirt, she pulled it up slowly to reveal her toned midriff and a hint of the black lace cupping her breasts. Regina almost choked on a bite of food. She swallowed thickly. Searing heat passed through her core at the sight of perfect definition and bare skin. Emma was gorgeous. An involuntarily moan escaped her at the thought of running warm hands and a hot tongue over the blonde’s body, the fantasy was so vivid she could almost taste the hot skin, feel it ripple against her chin as she grazed it gently with her teeth…

“See something you like, Captain?” Emma said with sparkling green eyes full of amusement. Regina couldn’t quite trust herself to form a coherent sentence so she remained silent, hoping the heat in her cheeks was not showing up quite as red as she feared.

“Mom,” Henry complained.

“Sorry kid.”

Finding her voice, Regina muttered weakly.

“This burger is very tasty.”

“I’ll bet.” Emma grinned.

_You think you’re so clever Savior, but two can play at this game._

Suggestive brown eyes locked with green.

“You’re welcome to taste, if you like…” she said, holding out the sandwich. “A little bite, perhaps?” She licked her lips before biting down gently on the lower one.

Emma flushed. It was easy to picture Regina performing the sexy gesture - despite her current pirate facade. Still, she would much rather it actually be Regina, it was mildly frustrating having to put up with the disguise. Although she probably wouldn't have been able to stop herself from jumping the brunette right there on the bench _in front_ of their son and any other onlookers, so maybe it wasn't such a bad thing.

Regina smiled seductively.

 _Oh boy_.

“You know…I uh…I should get back to my investigation. I’ll just take my salad and be on my way.” She grabbed the salad box and made a hasty exit stage left. Regina smiled to herself as she watched the blonde's retreating back.

“You’re wasting your time you know.” Henry said startling her, she’d been so focused on her interaction with Emma, she’d forgotten he was there.

“Pardon?”

“I like you and everything Killian, you’re really cool, but I’m pretty sure my Mom has the hots for Mayor Mills.”

She stared at her son with wide eyes.

“She…uh…what makes you think that?” Regina couldn’t help but press.

“I know my Mom, she kinda gets this dreamy expression on her face when she talks about her. Plus she blew off her boyfriend, like totally dumped him, to come all the way out here and though she hasn’t really told me anything, I know it has something to do with the Mayor, I think they used to be… _together_.”

“Maybe they’re just old friends.”

“Seriously,” Henry patted the fake pirates back, “ _and_ she bought a new top to wear at dinner tonight over at the Mayor’s house. You’re out of luck.”

Regina smiled shyly at the thought.

Henry re-joined the soccer game, leaving her to contemplate his words. She had already decided that she would cook the blonde's favorite food for dinner that evening. Perhaps it would be prudent to make a concerted effort with her outfit also...

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and feedback always appreciated... :P


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